Whispers of the Heart

Listen carefully and the words will speak to you

My friend Mike

I came to Maine after my mom passed away to live with my Nanny. She lived in Saco and I attended Thornton Academy, it did not take me long to convince her that I wanted to be a Biddeford Tiger and we moved across the bridge. One of the highlights of my time at Biddeford was my friend Mike. Mike and I did many things together, from a simple walk to building our own "house" in the woods of OOB. We shared our lives, our dreams, our selves in ways that many teens would most likely not have understood, but he was there for me and I wanted to be that one for him who would keep that smile on his face. Our time together was stripped away by the state of CT , actually by myself, when I started making some poor decisions for myself as a teen.
After loosing my mom, I guess I was pretty confused and did not truly know what it was that was going to make that empty feeling inside go away, and I started searching for love in all the wrong places, however, with Mike this was not the case. I felt something for him that was so special that it scared me, I did not feel I deserved to feel so good with someone when my mom had died, I had other "things" in my life (later memoirs) that were not supposed to be happening, and he was so special, had a loving family and I could not bring myself to allow my hurts and needs to interfere with his happiness...so, when they came and took me away and did not let me say bye to my friends, including Mike, my Nanny told me she would tell people for me, and so I left Maine, returned to CT and tried to put a shattered teenagers life (my own) back together again. This proved to be a very long journey, one that really did not come to an end until I was in my mid forties (as I am writing this I am 44 yrs old). It took me that long to realize what it was that I did not want in my life and how I had been making the same teen type decisions lead my life through my adulthood.
I have four wonderful children now and they all are great, so I guess I can honestly say I've done something right, however, my teen years were so full of love, passion, hurt, pain and confusion.... there is much more to be written on this era in my life.