Whispers of the Heart

Listen carefully and the words will speak to you

The taste of salt, ocean breeze, crashing waves, the sea of life...

"In the sea of life, I am but a drop in the ocean, however, a drop for what it is is merely a drop,
but when added to the pool of the world, it creates waves!"


I started as a drop at Mercy Hospital in Portland, Maine. My mom probably knew then that I would be one to decide to do things my way even if it was against all odds and that I'd make the world wait every now and then. She went to the hospital on the 1st of April expecting to deliver me, but I had different plans. One, I was not going to be the "Fool" so I caused a struggle which resulted in a C-section birth at 11:45pm on the 2nd of April (Easter Sunday).... this was much more pleasing to live with. I found out in 2004 that this day was also reserved for my first born granddaughter, Daisy Girl was born 1 April, 2004 (more on this later)...also, my biological father was born on 1 April 1941....so this day has been well spoken for, guess I wanted a day for myself.
My mom was only 16 years of age when she gave birth to me so when we left the hospital we went to live with my Nanny and my Grampy (and no, of course they did not spoil me - leave this for later in the story). Shortly after my arriving on this wonderful worldly place my mother was offered money to give me up for adoption. She refused and she worked in a fish factory in Portland while my Nanny cared for me and she provided for me the best she could. My mom was not one to give up easily, so it goes that I would grow up to take on some of those same traits.
My early years were happy with my grandparents and I can still remember my Nanny's parakeets, the cat, my Grampy playing his guitar and singing and my mom always having a smile on her face. Not truly remembering all the details at about the age of 15 months my mother conceived my sister Madeline. She was born in April also after my second birthday. Her father was sent to Vietnam where he as killed in combat. I have very little memories of him, other than he and my mom fighting over a radio and he let my doll and doll carriage go down a flight of stairs. Not wonderful memories, but memories none the less.
When I was 3 my mother and grandparents lived in a cabin in Scarborough, Maine, it was a blue house amongst many other blue houses, but ours was larger. It was here that I first learned my desire to experiment in Culinary Arts, daily I would make mud pies and share them with my Mom and Nanny.
About the age of 5 my mother met Ralph. He was quite older than her and always had a stern appearance. We were in CT at the time, however, shortly after they got together we moved to Sunapee, NH where my sister Ann Marie would be born. Our home in NH was nice with a long driveway up to the house which in the winter was not easily able to be traveled so we would place groceries etc..on our saucers (sleds) and pull them up the hill to the house. At the bottom of the driveway was a small pond where we would quite often see a young deer frequent (I used to wish they wouldn't because Ralph and my mother at this time in life would go out hunting and I never wanted them to come back home with anything).
Life was fairly simple, I went to school, helped out with my baby sister, who also was born in April after my 7th birthday, played with my dolls and we had a family dog named Sally. Sally would be the first of 4 family dogs to be named Sally, all were German Shepherds.
School was fun, I always liked reading and loved to learn new things all the time.
We did not stay in Sunapee for very long, finished my 1st grade year there and then we moved to Connecticut. Second grade was spent in Coventry, third grade in Manchester, fourth grade back in Coventry and then midway through fifth grade we moved to Willington, CT. I remained there until my 13th birthday at which time I left home and went to Randy Twarz house due to abuse at home. (more on this later).
I spent the next year at a Foster home, a group home and then after my mother's passing a brief period in hospitalization. By the end of 8th grade it was worked out for me to go to Maine to live with my grandmother (Nanny). It was going to her house that brought me to meet my biological father (more on this later).
I spent my high school years at Thornton Academy, Biddeford High School (both in Maine), Windham High School, E.O. Smith High School and Bolton High. This was all in a matter of a bit over 2 yrs of schooling. I was supposed to graduate my 3rd year as a junior but did not due to work schedules etc
My first teen "love" was Mike..... we shared more together as teens than some couples experience in a lifetime (more on this later-next chapter below....teen years)

Time went on, it was easier to learn to "love the one you're with" than to be with one you truly love, so after trying this a bit, life moved northward and eastward and as with the sails without any winds, mine flattened down, no wind, no sails, no desires....

Now I sail onward looking for my Captain, looking for that man who can sail the stormy seas as well as the calmest of lakes without capsizing. I know he is out there waiting to find his first Mate, one who I will stand beside him and support him, sail through life's journey together. When that man comes along I will be able to write the final chapters of my story, till then I will continue to write and search, knowing that you cannot go back into the stormy seas from which you traveled, you need to navigate in a new direction, one of peace and tranquility and one of which when the storms get rough, you have someone to keep you afloat.

I found my Captain, one magical night. He lifted my spirits, brought life to my heart. That night I danced as if my feet did not hit the floor, we became one with the music, this dark stranger and I. Then as fast as he came into my life, he sailed out again. (more on this magical romance to come-this was to be my forever love; I just did not know it at the time)

My first son (Gerry)was born 13 February 1979, second son (John) born 28 November 1980, my daughter (Charyssa) was born 9 December 1983 and my youngest son (DJ ) was born 16 May 1988. (much more on all of these events to come later)
First granddaughter (Daisy Girl) born 1 April 2004, second granddaughter (Lily Star) born 24 April, 2006 and Tiger (grandson) came into my life in May 2005.
Accepted at USM in 1989, started classes January 1990.... started as a double major in Computer Science/Physics; no computer at home, decided to switch to Accounting, minor in English.... (accounting was pretty boring by senior year)... changed to English Writing major with certification in Special Education which I hope to finish at URock or USM this next coming year. (more on all of these events to follow)

Places I have worked since my Teen years  (not sure if this is a complete list, but it's long enough already....lol)

Kings Dept Store
Alfred Superior Court
Manchester Nursing Home
Green Street Rehab Center for physically/mentally impaired adults
Alex Pizza
A & P Supermarket
Kathy John's Restaurant
Dee's Delectables Catering & Cakes
Kozy Kid Kare
The Hartford Courant
University Pizza
Faculty Alumni Center at UConn
UConn Library
Traveler's Restaurant
Abdow's Big Boy Restaurant
Caldor's Dept Store
Sambo's Restaurant
7-11 Stores
The Farm Shop Restaurant
Anderson Little                                                                                                                                                               D&D Caterers                                                                                                                                                     Liggett's Rexall Pharmacy                                                                                                                                             H&R Block - Intervale, NH

Mary Kay Cosmetics
Sarah Coventry Jewelry
Pioneer Parachute
Ridgeway Racing Machine Shop
Pine Street Apartments
Zayre's Dept Store
Peking Island Restaurant
The Donut Hole
The Happy Dragon
Dunkin Donuts
Biddeford Head Start
Burger King - Biddeford, Kittery
The Inn at Thorn Hill
Center Lovell Inn
Merrill Farm Resort
H & R Block
The Danforth
USM computer lab
The Olde Rowley Inn
S.A.D. #17
S.A.D. #5
Cumberland Farms
C.N. Brown
Southworth Planetarium
Little Ceasar's Pizza
John Delio's Pizza
Ocean Pearl Restaurant
Goldstreet Restaurant
Rent - A - Waitress
Wassie's Restaurant
Burger King - Presque Isle
Aroostook County agency on aging
Wendy's Restaurant
Island Inn on Monhegan Island
China Coast Restaurant
Shaw's Supermarket
Alliance Energy                                                                                                                                                                                                              H & R Block - Sandersville, GA
A-D Technologies - Sandersville, GA
First Presbyterian Church - Milledgeville, GA

All About writing

Started writing poetry at age of 9

Published first poem at age of 15 in the Hartford Courant

Published in various newsletters over the past 25 years

Have had some poems published in anthologies through poetry.com

Am a senior at USM as an English writing major, however, I have just applied to UMaine to complete my bachelors' degree in Liberal Studies with a concentration on education, hopefully if all goes well I can finally place that "piece of paper" that so many employers want to see on my walls within a year....YAY!!!

Currently working on book of memoirs and a couple of novels that I hope to publish by the end of 2009.

Along with writing, I love to read.....Currently reading my first Stephen King book, the Girl who Loved Tom Gordon, hoping it changes my desire to want to read the books by one of Maine's best known artists and someone who I've had the opportunity to meet and talk to on numerous occasions.

Recently read Blue Dahlia, now am starting Black Rose (trilogy by Nora Roberts),

Chesapeake Blue (fourth in the Chesapeake Bay series by Nora Roberts).....great books - all four of them, highly recommend....fast reads but she does a great job at making you feel like you really know your characters, in fact as if you sat at the dinnertable with them.

Just also read ORN by Piers Anthony, I recommend his books to anyone who enjoys sci-fi fantasy. 



About the author

Born 2 April 1961 and spent most of my childhood in CT, rest of my time in Maine.

Currently reside in Sandersville, GA:

Meet the family....

I have 4 grown children (ages 33, 31 and 28 and 24):

Gerry, the oldest is a graduate from USM in Theatre/Music; http://www.nutcrackerburlesque.com/staff/gerry.htm                                                 He and Ali were married on June 27th 2009; what a beautiful couple. They reside together in Portland with my grandpuppy - Pocket.               Ali now holds her masters in Social Work and Gerry is graduating May 2012 with his Masters in Computer Science, so proud of them both!     

John is a graduate of Job Corps in Limestone, ME and holds his Class A license and works driving truck.  He and his gal Danielle are now the proud parents of my second granddaughter, LilyStar (to me) and wow, a third granddaughter, DollyRose; and I also now have a grandson, Danielle has son - James - I would like to welcome them both into our family. 

Little Mariah Mae (my LilyStar) did not wait till May......the newest addition to my wonderful family was born on 24 April, 2006 (in her livingroom)....I am proud of John & Danielle and am now the proud MiMi of my "Lily Star"

Sweet Savannah Rose (my DollyRose) came into the world while I was in Sevierville, TN; home to Dolly Parton. She was born on the 3rd of October, 2009.

Charyssa holds her CNA certification and currently works at IGA as a manager; she is the mom to my "Daisy Girl" who was born 1 April 2004 -  I am a very proud grammy!!! (who is now known to them as Mi Mi)

Elizabeth Amney-Lynne (my DaisyGirl) was born 1 April, 2004. Her middle name is that of her great-great-grandmothers' first name-mine and her mom's middle name. She is the flower in my life and gives life a whole new purpose! I am now a proud grandmother!

My 24 year old son; at www.freewebs.com/djmillah  Dustin and Kirsten were married on December 28th, 2011 and are proud parents to my "Scooter" who was born on 27th of June, 2010.

congrats again DJ to your acceptance to USM..... Dream Big, Think Big and Be Happy!!! (not in college atm since he is residing in Georgia, but I have faith that he will be back in school again soon)

you may also see the oldest and the youngest sons through Myspace.com... first and second on my friends list.

and Jimi's 15 year old son; at www.freewebs.com/mooingcows

and Cassie; at https://www.freewebs.com/butterfly04005

Cassie will be starting at Jobcorps in Limestone January 2007, Congrats Girl, you've come a long way, I am very proud of you.                          Cassie was taken from this world in October 2009. She will be forever missed and loved!

I also have 4 sisters (Ann in Enfield, CT; Carmen in Bridgton, ME; Marilyn & Vicky, both in Saco, ME; and two brothers (Mark & Gilbert) both residing in Biddeford, ME.

My siblings have been wonderful to me, they have made me an aunt 6 times over (Ashley (18), Kevin(15), Kristine(12), Alanna(18), Brandon(16) and Jessica(8)); and now Alanna has given me the priviledge of the title of great-aunt with the arrival of her new baby on 12 April, 2005. Alanna did it again, I am a great-auntie twice now (make it now 3 times), you may see these cuties on her myspace site....they are adorable!                   Children are great!!!

I Love writing, music, dancing, shooting pool, football, playing PWI, reading, the ocean and time with family and friends

My favorite color is purple; Poets - Robert Frost, Dylan Thomas and Robert & Elizabeth Browning; actor(ress) - Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan; authors - Piers Anthony, Danielle Steele and John Grisham; childhood movies (but who says you ever have to grow up???) - Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; song - True Love Ways by Buddy Holly; singers -  Craig Hendricks   and Buddy Holly; season - Autumn... All-time favorite country star/singer/actress is Dolly Parton

or you can see more about her here ..... more Dolly Parton

As a child one of my favorite songs was Great White Horse by Buck Owens and Susan Ray, it told of a fairytale that I had somehow fantasized about and had hoped would come true, well, I have not found my prince or the white horse of my dreams, however, my children are my dream come true and now my grandchildren, there cannot be a greater gift from God in our lives than the gift of a child and the laughter of a child and family. Keep dreaming, I tell my children this also, but look around you, perhaps your dreams are coming true!

Poetry Friends